dealing with life can be exhausting. i am by far the expert on what people need and want or knowing the right moment to share my honest thoughts but we must trust our instincts and hope that the other person will understand.
my last post was very upsetting, i know but it had to be said. after, if i am not honest, then what is the point of all this? i am and have been very disappointed with events in my life, working hard and nothing to show for it, ambition isn’t enough when you want a future. you have to either be given the “golden glove” or work your way through the shit. you would think at my age i would have the answers to all but alas, i still use “google”.
i am finally embarking on my yearly trip and that is why i have been working relentlessly to fix and create a new layout. i want to concentrate on daily writing and dish out this pile of shit rolling around in my head. i am going to the most beautiful place i have ever seen and am so grateful that i can go with the help of caring people. i so need this right now as my stress level has gone through the roof with work and needing this break should open my clarity.
the word “deserving” comes to mind because i don’t really deserve it or that is how i feel but i am going because i need it. i want to enjoy the sand and sea and drink some rum until spring and summer arrives here in Canada and i can set up my oasis in the backyard.
the little things please me and frankly, i want to be positive about this trip, do new things and find peace.